Core Topic:: Productivity Routine Focus
Sources
routines1 - Benjamin P. Hardy
routines2 - Cathryn Lavery - ... Meaningful Morning Routine Will Make You More Successful
routines3 - Thierry Meier - Why Routines Will Make You Better At What You Do
routines4 - Francesco Marconi - Frankly Speaking: How I Found Purpose
routines5 - Charlie Zannorman - Embracing the prison of Routine
routines6 - Book: Organizing For The Creative Person
routines7 - Book: Type Talk at Work by Otto Kroger https://www.amazon.com/Type-Talk-Work-Revised-Personality/dp/0440509289
routines8 - Book: Please Understand Me // David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates https://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Me-Character-Temperament/dp/0960695400/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1469814805&sr=1-1&keywords=please+understand+me
routines9 - Book: The Slight Edge // Jeff Olson
routines10 - "How to Get Past Your Emotional Blocks And Fears So You Can Live The Life You Want" https://medium.com/the-mission/youve-built-your-entire-life-to-protect-your-fears-here-s-how-to-finally-live-free-4de16117084f.ez8m7dpp2 Benjamin Hardy
routines11 Saviuc, Luminita D.. 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy: An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy (p. 4). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. routines11
routines12 - Stefan Pylarinos
Full Post
To my FRIENDS, FAMILY, Loved ones, and COLLEAGUES. This post is a PRESCRIPTION, not a RECOMMENDATION!!! I HAVE OUTLINED 10 Steps that will hopefully INSPIRE and TRANSFORM your life forever... I will never be the same person again because of the knowledge, systems, and results I have produced with this philosophy below....
Clarity is Power!.... and you are a lot more POWERFUL than you realize..... In fact.... We are all amazing and very capable forms of energy that are constantly expanding and contracting like spectacular stars in the universe.....and they are spectacular, aren't they? Well... SO ARE WE .... In fact, everything in life is about energy.... and energy is neither created nor destroyed. It is merely transferred from one BEAUTIFUL soul to the next...
In knowing this, you must learn to put out the energy in the universe that you want back in return. If you choose to put out negative emotions and self doubt, then that is what you will experience through actions and results in your life.
In order to live the life you DESERVE, you must first master your psychology!
Step 1: DECIDE YOU AREN'T WHERE YOU WANT TO BE and that you MUST FIRST MASTER YOUR PSYCHOLOGY TO GET TO WHERE YOU WANT TO BE ...
Mastering your psychology involves understanding behavioral and cognitive developmental psychology -at least on a basic or intermediate level-->
STEP 2: REPROGRAM THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND or do INTENSIVE TIME LINE THERAPY to do so...
...doing intensive timeline therapy to see what emotional life events (positive or negative) are driving you towards or away from what you want out of life (career, business, health, relationships, growth, contribution)--->
STEP 3: PAY ATTENTION TO INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL FORCES AND HOW THEY DICTATE THE WAY YOU INPUT OR OUTPUT YOUR ENERGY
... you to pay attention to internal (subconscious mind) and external (conscious mind) forces that affect the energy that you put out into the universe. This is important because your input affects your output... and people's output affects your input...
Step 4: IDENTIFY YOUR CORE VALUES or BELIEFS AS A HUMAN BEING THAT TRANSCENDS WHO YOUR ARE INWARD and OUTWARD....Once these patterns have been broken, reshaped, and recreated... you can NOW BEGIN TO redefine what you stand for by identifying 5-7 beliefs/values that you live by in every area of your life no matter what....
STEP 5: IDENTIFY YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS AND WHAT IS HOlDING YOU back ACCORDING TO WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU FROM THE OUTSIDE AND HOW YOU FEEL PEOPLE VIEW YOU FROM THE OUTSIDE TOO....... you must be realistic about what disbeliefs (limiting beliefs) you have that you want to constantly work on so that your emotions and energy internally and externally are positive and productive....
Life is not hard unless you let lack of knowledge, lack of accountability, lack of mentors, lack of introspect, lack of resourcefulness keep you where the 1% want to keep you...
Nature and Nurture forces us into patterns that become our belief system, which is very flawed in our society today--> Our environment and life events either Propel us or Cripple us often times permanently... we just have no idea what is happening...
Nature and nurture forms our beliefs and disbeliefs--> our beliefs and disbeliefs are who we are to the core--> This in turn affects our subconscious mind...
Did you know that the mind when we are asleep or not conscious is 1000's of times stronger than our conscious mind (What we see, touch, smell, taste, hear)???
People say that actions speak louder than words... Well that is true if we first speak the right words to ourselves FIRST.. then we can take the RIGHT ACTIONS Together--->
Subconscious mind influences our actions most--> If this is flawed, then our actions won't be in alignment with what we truly want in the conscious self--> Our actions Then affect our results--> Results then affect our emotions positively or most of the time negatively...
Then our emotions affect the energy that we put out or take back in from people or events in life from the universe--> and this in turn affects the energy we put back out or take back in too-->
Do you see how everything is interconnected and related like the stars, the planets, the cosmos, and the universe?
I will show you how....
nature and nurture=> forms our Beliefs and disbeliefs=>inwards self doubt=>we project out Negative energy=>we get the Undesired result=>we then project More Negative Energy=> Then, we believe our results should be the same because we Fall in to patterns=> repetition of these patterns==> flawed psychological wiring that becomes very difficult to change these patterns==>these patterns then become our beliefs that we then spread from ourselves to others--> Fixed Mindset occurs
Then we are trapped in this FIXED MINDSET VICIOUS CYCLE where are actions--> become patterns---> Patterns become our beliefs--> This in turn affects our results over and over and over and over (95% of people live here).. YOU GET THE POINT!
But others not reading this NEVER GET IT... That is why those individuals say things like i wish I could have done x when i was your age... or if y had not happened I would have Z (to be honest I my self have been victim of this multiple times in my life)...
...95% of people live in---what Brian Tracy in the Book "Goals" labels as--- this repetitive world of making excuses, rationalizing actions, results or events in life, justifying why they do or don't do certain things, etc, etc....
... In short, 95% of people do not take 100% responsibility for the actions and results in their life.... because they do not know that their results and energy they put out in the universe is trapped in this unforgiving and vicious cycle of deeply flawed psychological wiring... BUT WAITTT !!!!! IT's not entirely your fault!!!
Corporations, educational systems, and people in our family and communities have taught us to adopt-- what Carol Dweck from the book "Mindset," labels as-- a "Fixed mindset." Most people have a fixed mindset instead of a GROWTH MINDSET and base their future personal and business relationships, health results, contribution results, etc on their PAST RESULTS...
I am here to tell you NO LONGER HAVE TO BE REACTIVE and live in a world where you and everyone around you thinks everything is FIXED,
YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO LET your subconscious mind affect your results
YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO LET your internal and external energy forces you put out into the universe to be negative or unproductive...
YOU NO LONGER have to SACRIFICE HEALTH, WEALTH, and HAPPINESS in life!!!!!
It can be ACHIEVED BY TAKING THE FOLLOWING STEPS IF AND WHEN YOU ARE READY for TOTAL TRANSFORMATION:
... Here are the steps you can take to break this vicious cycle of negative emotions, fixed mindset, and being trapped by the 1-5% that hold the key to LIVING THE LAW OF ATTRACTION... a Life worth living based on ABUNDANCE
Google "Time Line Therapy" and do it with a trusted Master coach so he or she can help you figure out what has happened in the nature and nurture portions of your life that is deeply affecting your subconscious mind and psychological wiring... (Aggressive route- most people too chicken to do this or just don't believe in this because they have not experienced it second hand through social proof)
Less Aggressive approach but somewhat effective route is to do the below steps... but you have to come into terms that without timeline therapy or some sort of DEEP SUBCONSCIOUS REPROGRAMMING of YOUR MIND you may NEVER UNLOCK or discover what is truly holding you back from consistent fulfillment and happiness in all areas of your life.. .. BUT FOR NOW it is a good start and will get you closer to UNLOCKING THE KEY TO PUTTING OUT THE RIGHT ENERGY INTO THE UNIVERSE that will change your actions, results, beliefs, patterns, emotions, and energy for ever...
STEP 5: KNOWLEDGE, SYSTEMS, AND EXECUTION......Become proactive (Resourceful) instead of reactive (Complains of lack of resources) by FIRST FINDING, CONSUMING and APPLYING KNOWLEDGE THAT ONLY the 1-5% of the world utilizes. I'm not saying just read books and nod your head at good points.. read the books and find people who have applied what they learned and truly have the results you are looking for......Go work for these people at ALL COSTS. In many cases, work for free because it will be the best investment that will transform your life forever. You will be filled with abundance internally, and you will in turn feel compelled like me to spread it outwards in the form of Prosperity. The last girl I dated said this was the wrong thing to do and I should not advertise what I want or what I am doing... She found it cocky or arrogant or too opportunistic.. she had a lot of negative emotions around her father and men in her life... this kept her in a scarce mindset place and that's why we did not work out...
THESE BOOKS CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER: Read them multiple times until you apply what you are learning and are able to get the results you desire:
2.The Secret.
STEP 6: LEARN AND PRACTICE what S.M.A.R.T. goals are: Google "how to set S.M.A.R.T. goals by Brian Tracy". Write out all of your goals and look at them every single day in the morning and night. From these books, you will learn how to master your psychology... develop daily rituals that keep you on track: Affirmations in the morning, Top 3 things done before 12 (look at the top 3 things you need done the night before and visualize success), meditate for 10 min in the morning, workout every day for at least 30 min, meal prep for the whole week, debrief at the end of the day and practice gratitude for your day and life in general no matter what (I have been around 7, 8, and 9 figure entrepreneurs that literally do all of this stuff every day) If they are getting the results and are truly happy, what is stopping the rest of us?
STEP 7: INVEST INTO YOURSELF (I have personally invested 100k or more into myself the last 6 years from age 20) Hire a coach to hold you accountable and keep you on track with your internal and external emotions. Utilize him or her to work out the self doubt, be your thinking partner so you can continue to master your psychology and absolutely crush your personal goals.
STEP 8: FIND OR BUILD AN ACCOUNTABILITY SYSTEM: Join a mastermind group or build an accountability team(with people with equal or better income, health, relationships that are in alignment with your core values and goals in life) that you send your weekly outcomes to and meet 1-2 times a month on skype or in person and talk about your weekly, monthly, yearly goals and what is 1) going well 2) not going well 3) what are you going to change moving forward to stay on track. Make sure these people care about you and the results that you want in your life. (Inbox me if you need help with this because it can be challenging)
STEP 9: FINANCIAL AND GOALS DEBRIEF SYSTEM: Every week on Saturday or Sunday spend 2-3 hours going through all your bank accounts, investments (or lack thereof), goals and desired outcomes for the week, month, and year and ask yourself 1) What is going well in my business/career, personal life, health and fitness, growth, and contribution 2) What is not going well business/career, personal life, health and fitness, growth, and contribution 3) What can be done to improve upon this and PRACTICE GRATITUDE because you do not want to beat yourself up every week... this is a marathon, not a sprint!
STEP 10: RINSE AND REPEAT. ALWAYS ELEVATING, ALWAYS GROWING!!!
This is the longest post I have ever made... Some will be inspired... some will inbox me for help... and many will either be overwhelmed or offended that I wrote a novel.... Hate it or Love it... you have to respect it because I am not on this Planet to tell people what they want to hear, GOD put me on this earth to TRANSFORM LIVES so I am telling you what you NEED TO HEAR...
I have practiced these internal and external mechanisms and systems for 6 years, and when i have not... I have simply fallen short... It has happened twice in those 6 years and both times my spirituality, relationships, career, and health have taken major sacrifices... I WILL NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN!!!
...This post is in part to hold myself ACCOUNTABLE in the public so that I never fall short again.....Also... it would be an injustice for me to not try and help everyone I can in my immediate life circle with a MINDSET and Psychology that has transformed me into the fulfilled, happy, and attractive (law of attraction energy of course ;-)) person I am today...
....Not to mention the 20 or so 7, 8, and 9 figure entrepreneurs that I have had the honor and privilege to spend time, energy, and money learning and helping their businesses grow.... I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR Abundance living and Law of Attraction people like Muhammed Ali, Conor Mcgregor, Nick Unsworth Michael Bernoff Konrad Sopielnikow Ben Eastman Lana Tabby PowersJohn King John Mende Randy ZimnochDominik Lipinski Life on Fire FortuneBuilders Than MerrillPaul EsajianRobert Fogel Brian TracyJacob AntonKevin McCoskerDennie BrogdonValerie ViramontesGuy FerdmanIlan FerdmanJustin WoolfGrant CardoneCole A HatterTai LopezSean VoslerDerek MeyerBrennan FontanaAmateo RaJordanne BrenkwitzTony RobbinsAdan PerezJohnny SmereckiJacob AntonDominik LipinskiLewis HowesAna LevinShirley SolisMina ArroyoJenn BeningerYulia Russ
.... 90%+ of people never DO ANY OF THE ABOVE and this is why they are trapped forever in the system unless they decide to TRANSFORM and ELEVATE THEMSELVES just like those listed above..
In fact, when I do not whole-heartedly practice what these individuals above have taught or reinforced in me through their own actions.... then My mindset, MY energy, and MY results mimic and mirror that of those 90%+ individuals whom are stuck in the system..
What is the system?
The system is this unforgiving place you DO NOT EVER WANT TO LIVE IN. It's a TRAP. It prevents growth, contribution to others, health, wealth, and happiness. If you want these things then you must first understand a hard FACT of LIFe and that is....
YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY BEEN LIED TO. You were taught to go to school, get a job, work for someone else your wholleeeee life....
YOU were also taught to invest in scams such as depreciating assets like your first house and your first car.... ALL DESIGNED to keep you TRAPPED IN THE PATTERNS OF BEING REACTIVE...
YOU WERE also MISLED to go into a ton of debt for college so that you can end up being 55 years of age with 250k or less in your 401k account with absolutely no chance to retire. ..
How do I know this besides reading it in the books above and learning from people listed above?
EMPIRICAL RESUlTS: Well over the past 5 years, I personally spoke to over 5000 people (across two different jobs) over the phone that have no chance to retire (Including 20k people that did not pick up their phone but also saw their financial profiles for and they represent the diminishing and almost non-existent middle class), have read over 200 books the past 6 years on these topics, have invested almost 100k into my personal development to understand all of this.. Have been around 50+ 6, 7, 8, 9 figure income earners who practice these systems...
Like Joseph McClendon says, "Life is really about 60% psychology, 20% mechanics, and 20% attractiveness." Your emotions are key. Your energy is key. Understanding and Mastering your personal psychology is the KEY TO LIVING THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND ATTRACTING EVERY OUTCOME THAT YOUR MIND AND HEART DESIRES AND quite frankly... DESERVES!!!
Late last year, I went against the grain and did what everyone told me NOT TO DO....
I was the top producer of one of the fastest growing educational companies in the United States....I shattered and currently still hold every single record even until today..... I do not share this to impress you....Rather, I share this to IMPRESS UPON YOU that my results were because I practiced everything I am preaching above... I had accountability systems, goal setting systems, affirmations in the morning... gratitude statements at night... positive emotions inwards and outwards.. ABUNDANCE
I ACHIEVED EVERY PERSONAL and FINANCIAL GOAL THAT I SET FOR MYSELF and SURPRISINGLY I STILL FELT UNFULFILLED because I knew how ATTRACTIVE I WAS and how AMAZING my energy and GIFT FROM GOD is... My Clients would write me 3 page emails when they got into the coaching program I interviewed them for because they said I transformed their life and they will always cherish and remember me for it....... and you will learn too ONCE YOU IMPLEMENT THE ABOVE... then even when you are up and doing great and LIVING from a PLACE OF ABUNDANCE LIKE I WAS.. there is still A LOT MORE abundance in the universe.. THE UNIVERSE AND LIFE IS ALL ABOUT ENERGY.
What do we know about the universe? IT IS ALWAYS EXPANDING OUTWARDS.
...you just need to master the psychology around obtaining that abundance...
...you just need to visualize success in the highest form that you are truly capable of with your deepest imagination possible... you just need to believe in yourself and pay attention to all the internal and external feedback you are getting...
...you just need to surround yourself with others who are living in ABUNDANCE and practice the rituals I outlined above (also taught to you in those BOOKS I PRESCRIBED, remember NOT RECOMMENDED.. THIS IS A PRESCRIPTION).
...For me, staying at the job was practicing what the books above call a "scarcity mindset."
My family came here as refugees almost 40 years ago with absolutely no money in their pockets... I grew up in a household with absolutely no furniture, no cable, no internet... my mother spent 20 hour days in a liquor store in the worst area in DETROIT (why my nickname is Johnny from the BLOCK or Johnny be GOOD ;-p)... beat breast cancer twice just to make sure we had enough food and clothes to get through school... I was embarrassed to have friends over because they were all well off and we had no furniture... my mom sacrificed and taught me anything is possible with enough self-belief and being resourceful...
I owe it to her to practice Abundance in all areas of life... and so I am on a pilgrimage to help all with this amazing information that our educational and social systems lack...
soo... I quit my amazing job (Forever grateful for FortuneBuilders, Ben Eastman, Noah Cosby, Than Merrill Paul Esajian Konrad Sopielnikow) late in 2015 (Everyone did not support this), traveled 6 MONTHS STRAIGHT to 21 countries around the world and learned a lot about abundance, scarcity, people, life, energy, and happiness ....upgraded my skill sets by investing to coaching, training, etc....started 3 different companies and finally finding the one I will stick to for the next 5 years to come..... 2016 was about perspective, learning to love, being scatter minded purposefully with so many ideas with minimal to intermediate action and execution---> This helped me figure out my calling... my PASSION...
For me, 2016 was about getting crystal clear on what I "do want" and what I "don't want" out of every area of my life: health, business, personal and business relationships, personal goals, love and connection, growth and contribution.
2017 is about Execution in the highest form...in doing so... I plan to transform 10k lives, Launching my first of many 7 figure businesses, being at PEAK PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL STATE, ATTRACT tHE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS and begin DATING HER, and BEGINNING TO SET my beloved mother (whom I deeply love for giving me undeniable passion in my voice and heart, an ability to read energy and people immediately, a beautiful mind filled with ideas that I EXECUTE and get MASSIVE RESULTs) for retirement in the years to come.
My first published book I am writing right now as we speak will be about all the topics above, so this is a sneak peak....
....But for now..... I ask you.. What were the past 5 years like for you in every area of your life: career/business, relationships, love/connection, growth, contribution? What was 2016 like for you? What will 2017 be about for you? This year will shape the next 3-5 years of your NEWLY TRANSFORMED LIFE. Are you prepared? Feel free to inbox me any questions or direction that you may need. I am genuinely here to help and Love each and EVERY ONE OF YOU.
WITH ABUNDANCE, PROSPERITY, and LOVE,
Johnny Anton
Random Thoughts / Questions
"The Routine Success Framework" or "The Success Routine Framework"
"You always get out of life exactly what you tolerate." - Tony Robbins
Methodically identify and confront and resolve internal conflicts
Relentless: Don't think. You already know what you have to do, and you know how to do it. What's stoping you?
Compare analogy of saving money to saving other things; what other "currencies" in your life can you save up and contribute to daily?
IDEA: Make mind map out of bullet point research, connect the dots (screenshots of sections of this research?)
"A cynics guide to believing in your own koolaid"
How do you fight apathy?
Experiments / Exercises (test own suggestions in research)
Exercise - How to Identify What Routines You Should Create and Repeat.
Write out your deepest desires.
Write out what success looks like for you in business, relationships, mental health, physical health, and finances.
Write out where you are right now in your business, relationships, mental health, physical health, and finances.
Write out actions you've taken up to this point in your life that you've found to benefit your... business, relationships, mental health, physical health, and finances.
Write out the big and small things, but especially the small things that you do now or have done in the past to help you feel/be successful. These small things will make up the basis of your routines. sidenote how to identify what routines you should have, not everyone should have the same routines... I spent a lot of time looking at other peoples routines and tried to pick ones that sounded like they'd benefit me, problem is, their version of success isn't the same of mine.
Just getting started - the one tooth rule: http://vid.increase.ventures/1lkdj
------ CHAPTER: Why / Benefits of A Routine.
routines12 quote Facebook post from Stefan Pylarinos
I once heard that Hell on Earth would be meeting the person that you were meant to become.
Could you imagine?
Imagine coming to the end of your life and meeting the person that you were MEANT to become...
Imagine seeing the success you could've had, but missed out on because of your fears and limitations.
Imagine seeing the freedom you could've had, but missed out on because of your excuses and stories.
Imagine seeing the happiness, joy and passion you could've experienced, but you missed out because you didn't take the actions necessary to create it.
Imagine the relationship, love, passion you could've experienced, but missed out because of your fears of being vulnerable and lacking the courage to "go for it".
Imagine the LIFE you could've lived... the difference that you could've made... and the person you could've become... but never had a chance to, because of your COMFORT ZONE prevented you to.
Your COMFORT ZONE is your DANGER ZONE.
Your FEAR OF REGRET should always outweigh your fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of success, or fear of the unknown.
"Discipline weighs OUNCES, regret weighs TONS."
The good news is that you're not at the end of your life yet and there is STILL TIME for you to create the life you desire.
Your life is just beginning, spend your time wisely.
What happens on your subconscious level influences what happens on your conscious level. In other words, what goes on internally, even unconsciously, eventually becomes your reality. As Hill further states, “The subconscious mind will translate into its physical equivalent, by the most direct and practical method available.” routines1
Your thoughts are the blueprint of the life you are building (or rebuilding) one day at a time. When you learn to channel your thinking — both consciously and subconsciously — you create the conditions that make the achievement of your goals inevitable. routines1
I needed to work smarter, not harder, and the first step was to create good habits. routines2
Another great reason to create a morning ritual it is to avoid mental fatigue. routines2
We only have a certain amount of energy and willpower when we wake up each morning, and it slowly gets drained away with decisions. routines2
For Jack Dorsey, his (daily theming) routine eliminates decisions on what to work on upfront. More importantly, the routine helps him build a shield for potential distractions. Dorsey frees himself from possible distractions and decision-fatigue. routines3
Routines declutter your brain. Creating a routine means making decisions before instead of during the heat of a battle. routines3
Routines can make life simpler and more enjoyable. routines3
routines5 "Routine had been my greatest enemy my whole life, but it wasn’t routine’s fault. It was life’s fault. School and work had been torture, so of course I had hated the routine of it! Yes, being free and blowing with the wind and being impulsive is fun. Yes, hanging on to innocence and child-like enthusiasm for every moment is important to me. Yes, I love not having a routine. But what I love even more is working hard and seeing dreams come true. I have a ton of value to impart to the world. What am I going to do about it?"
The things that take you out of failure and up towards survival and success are simple. So simple intact that it's easy to overlook them. It's easy to overlook them because when you look at them, they seem insignificant. routines9 p.9
Things like ...
... taking a few dollars out of a paycheck and putting into savings
... doing a few minutes of exercise every day (and not skipping)
... or reading 10 pages .. every day.
... or taking a moment to tell someone how much you appreciate them, consistently, every day, for months & years.
keypoint Little things like that seem insignificant in the doing, yet when compounded over tie yield very big results. "simple daily disciplines".
The Power of Time routines9
Will Power is Vastly Overrated. For most people, will power ends up looking and feeling like some sort of grim self-tyranny propped up by an arbitrary, artificial reward and punishment system. There is a natural tendency to resist an applied force. Willpower will take you only so far before you feel yourself rebelling. keypoint p.63 routines9
"Time" (the power of) will serve as a your replacement for "willpower".
the only difference between the grand canyon and a trickle of water down a path is: time. p.64 routines9 - six million years to be exact.
The beauty of routines (the slight edge) is that it's a very generous process. It requires only a minuscule contribution from you, and yet it offers you a gigantic return. It demands a penny and returns a million dollars. Starting with "the penny" is your part of the deal, the rest of the equation is time. p.64 routines9
The secret of time is simply this: time is the force that magnifies those little, almost imperceptible, seemingly insignificant things you do every day into something titanic and unstoppable. routines9 p.65
FORMULA: consistency repeated daily + time = unconquerable results.
Again: you plant, you cultivate, finally you harvest.
Everyone knew this in the past, today it's a learned skill. Everyone wants to go directly from plant to harvest. We plant the seed by joining the gym, and then get frustrated after a few days of no fitness harvest. p.65 routines9
The missing attribute in society today is "cultivate", the step we've lost touch with. This is the where the real (though invisible power) power lies, it only takes place through patient dimension of time. routines9
Most people don't grasp the power of "the quiet thing." Time is like water, it gives life to everything and flows in places most people don't get. The first few hundred years of the grand canyon were boring.
keypoint "the slight edge" - routines - dailies - are boring in the short term, incredibly exciting in the long term. Making the right choices is not dramatic. If making the right choices were a dmaatic thing, you'd get immediate feedback. That doesn't happen: there is no immediate feedback. routines9 p.67
Routines executed routinely can do anything. But you have to give it enough time for the power of time to kick in.
The right or wrong choices you make at the moment will have little or no noticeable impact on how your day goes for now. Or tomorrow, or the next day. It's not exciting. All the drama comes at the end of the story, when the credits start to roll. Making the right choices, taking the right actions is truly easy to do (ridiculously easy, but it's just as easy not to do.) IF you don't do them, there won't be any big drama about it; it won't make any difference at all, not today anyway - but over time... routines9 p.68
Live, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness ~ Within the Context of Routines routines9 p.95
LIFE is your health.
LIBERTY is finances. Financial health gives you freedom; to follow your passions, chase your purists, develop your skills and talents and gifts.
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.
Context of founders of America's statement; basically wanted an environment where individuals could go about pursuing happiness, whatever that meant for them, in relative peace and freedom. They didn't try and guarantee happiness itself, just a place where you stood a better chance of chasing it down. routines9 p.95
Happiness isn't something you pursue; it's something you do. More accurate: it's a lot of somethings you do. Little somethings. Simple things you do every day. OR as the case may be, don't do eery day.
Happiness is created by simple, easy things we do every day.
Unhappiness is created by NOT doing those simple, easy, everyday things.
Happiness doesn't derive from success, it's the other way around. routines9 p.97
Common belief: Once I become healthier, [...] better relationship, [...] living where I want to live, [...] income is high enough to manage my life without stress; THEN I'll be happier. That's how we think it works, opposite is true. routines9 p.98
Happiness ignores the rules of "cause and effect." - Sean Vosler quote
sidenote this would be a good blog post all on it's own.
Once you do what it takes to raise your everyday level of happiness, then you will become more successful, then you'll become healthier, then you'll find that relationship. The more you raise your own happiness level, the more likely you'll start achieving all those things you want to achieve. p.98 routines9
sidenote "happiness movement vs. personal development" Far more people have a strong desire to be happy than a strong desire to develop themselves to a fuller potential. “Personal development” sounds to most people like work, and who wants to work harder than they are already working? But “happiness” doesn’t sound like work. It sounds like … well, it sounds like being happier. routines9 p.100 When you read all the research about what it takes to raise your level of happiness, you begin to realize that these scientists are describing exactly the same kinds of behaviors that all the personal development teachers have been advocating for decades, just applied in a slightly different context. And positive psychology, as it turns out, is the perfect mate to positive philosophy. In other words, the slight edge. p.101
Importance of Attitude: { the right philosophy > the right attitude > the right actions
Your attitude is the thing that translates your abstract understanding (philosophy) into concrete actions. routines9 p.102 Your attitude determines the quality of the leap from philosophy to action.
Attitude is aligned with emotions, how you feel about something.
We often feel we don't have control of our attitude: feelings can be fickle. You can improve your control over your attitude by genuine commitment to personal development; though this is naturally difficult and our feelings can overwhelm our control.
What we need is a key to manage attitude. Happiness is the missing ingredient that quite a few people need to make control of attitude work. p.102 routines9
Attitude is needed to help execute our philosophy; and happiness is what provides us with the ability to control our attitude.
"Happiness Habits": the small, repetitive, things scientist have identified to make you happy.
Simple tasks that, if you do them consistently and persistently over a long perdio of time, will get the results you are looking for. p. 103 routines9
Happy habits don't just make you happier, they create exactly the attitude you need to make the synaptic leap from the slight edge philosophy into slight edge actions.
Shawn Achor -- author The Happiness Advantage's Five simple things you can do each day that, if you do them consistently over time, will make you notably happier. p.104 routines9
ONE: Each morning, write down three things you're grateful for. This trains your brain to search your circumstances and hunt for positive.
TWO: Journal for two minutes a day about one positive experience you've had over the past 24 hours. Doubles positive impact of part one.
THREE: Meditate daily. Stop all activity, relax, and watch your breath go in and out for two minutes. Trains brain to focus where you want it to, not distracted by negativity in your environment.
FOUR: Do random act of kindness over the course of each day.
FIVE: Exercise for at least fifteen minutes daily.
Sidenote: Exercise routine... 3 days per week evening gym, 3 days per week yoga, 1 day paddle boarding.
The results after three weeks, 21 days in a row, will create a habit. You've started the process of rewiring your brain to see the world in a different way, results: experiencing happier days. p.104 routines9
Recommendation: Don't start with all the new routines at once, start with just one and keep repeating it until it becomes habit, continually add more.
Other habits for consideration p.105 routines9
Make more time for friends.
Practice savoring the moment.
Practice having a positive perspective.
Put more energy into cultivating your relationships.
Practice forgiveness.
Engage in meaningful activities.
Practice simple acts of giving.
Read at least ten pages of a good book daily.
Happiness is created by doing some simple, easy things, and doing them every day. Success does not lead to happiness, it’s the other way around: more happiness creates more success. Elevated levels of happiness create elevated levels of health, performance, social involvement, marital fulfillment, financial and career success, and longevity. Greater happiness is key to making the slight edge work in your life.
Side benefit of improving yourself: it's contagious, you will start to see those around you improve.
"If you are not making someone else's life better you are wasting your time. Your life will only become better by helping make our lives better." - Will Smith
Success comes with a price; growth creates abundance, abundance creates responsibility. Responsibility is the price you pay for success. p.115 routines9
sidenote - you're the only person responsibly for your happiness, and success.
Steven King threw his first manuscript in the trash, his wife inspired him to finish it. He started with something. In the trash was his first step.
A penny saved is a penny earned. False. This is one of those things people say without really thinking it through, because it is so not true. If it were, then a penny would just be a penny. Big deal. But a penny saved is not a penny earned; a penny earned is a penny earned. How much is a penny saved? It’s a thousand dollars, if you save it long enough at a great enough rate of interest. p.132 routines9
If you add just 1 percent of anything— skill, knowledge, effort— per day, in a year it will have more than tripled. But you have to start with the 1 percent.
Bottom Line: Every day, in every moment, you get to exercise choices that will determine whether or not you will become a great person, living a great life. p.132 routines9
We Live on A Curve - Are you improving or deflating?
everything is curved. There is no true straight line. Everything is always, constantly changing. Including your life. You are on a journey called your life path, and that path is not a straight line, but a curve. As you walk your path, it is always, every moment of every day, curving either upward or downward. routines9 p.142
Measuring your curve: If you want to know which side (up or down) of a given curve you are on there is one attitude, one state of mind, which overwhelming predominates either side of the curve... On the failure side is blame, on the success side of the curve is responsibility. p.142 routines9
People Moving Upward: They take full responsibility for who they are, where they are, and everything that happens to them.
sidenote - the question isn't why am I bad at routines, it's why am I not taking responsibility for my routines? Do I believe I am responsible for them? Do I want the outcomes they promise? Blaming myself (self-ego) is the same as removing responsibility from myself for acting on my own belief that I should have routines in my life; do I actually believe that I do?
Taking responsibility liberates you, single most liberating thing there is.
When you don't take responsibility, when you blame others, circumstances, fate, or change, you give away your power. Often negative things outside our control happen, it's how we react, how we view those things, that make the difference between success and failure; that is completely within our control. routines9
quote John Burroughs - "A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else." --- there are no such thing as excuses.
Ask yourself...
How high are your standards? could they be higher?
What parts of my 'failures' do I (still) blame on others?
What do I blame on myself but don't resolve, commit, to change.
What self defeating thoughts do you continually allow yourself to meditate on?
Do you take responsibility for your actions? It's easy to do, but it's just as easy not to do.
Do you predominately focus on the past, or the future?
Don't ignore the past, but use it as a tool - one of many with which you build your future. routines9 p.149
Your only limitations are self imposed; and it's not what happens to you that's important, but it's how you respond to what happens.
The two lists... routines9 p.151
The long list is a detailed accounting of what’s wrong with their spouse [or themselves], and the short list is a summary of what’s right. The long list they consult every day. And the short list? That’s the one they read at the funeral.
People on the upward success curve don’t wait for the eulogy. They rip the long list to shreds, scatter its pieces to the wind, and spend every day reading from the short list.
... they make themselves experts in "what's right" and let go of "what's wrong." They never hold a grudge; because it simply gets in the way of the positive curve in their life.
... they're too busy moving towards the future to be gazing behind.
Exit the past. Change Your Future. p.151 routines9
Review the past, but only for the purpose of making a better plan. Never spend more than a few minutes consulting your negative past. The future is a far better tool than the past.
You can’t change the past. You can change the future. Would you rather be influenced by something you can’t change, or by something you can?
You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory. —S MARABOLI routines11 p.4
The moment you decide that you have had enough of everything, enough of stress and anxiety, enough of anger and resentment, enough of struggle, lack, pain and poverty, enough of tears, heartbreaks, self destructive thoughts, behaviors and relationships and enough of all that is negative and toxic, that will be the moment you will finally be ready to take charge of your life and take the necessary steps toward a better happier life. routines11 p.4
The only salvation you need is from your own toxic thoughts; from your own self.
"It’s not easy to accept the fact that people mistreated you and treated you unkindly in the past and that you were deprived of love, happiness and affection. It’s not easy to make peace with your past hurts, surrender and let go of it all, but if you do it, your life will be forever transformed and good things will start happening to you, because of you. Your past doesn’t have to equal your future, unless you want it to." routines11 p.6 quote
If you cling to the past and keep using it as an excuse for not moving on with your life, then yes, your future will be very similar to your past. GIVE up the past and allow yourself to be present and engage with day to day life ALONG with having a clear vision of what you want your future to look like; then the future will look nothing like your past. It's your responsibility for better or worse. You have the power to decide. keypoint routines11 p.6
We cling to the past because the past gives us a sense of identity; it makes us who we are, or at least that's what we think. keypoint We haven't yet learned how to be present and engaged in our day to day lives.
thank goodness we have a choice.
The path to "giving up" the past.
Commitment
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller routines11
because of many years of our past conditioning and intesense training we have in holding on to things, letting go won't happen overnight... that's ok. Be patient and getnal with yourself while working on this process; remember to take one step at a time. routnies11 p.9 Commit to the process.
Acceptance
We can easily become attached to how things SHOULD be. How our happiness should be packaged and delivered, this creates a lot of resistance and unhappiness in our life. routines11 p.10
Discipline your mind to work with you not against you, to life you p not tear you down. Work on healing the wounds of the past, accept your struggles, your so called failures and mistakes. Accept it all, don't resist it.
You may have moments in the past that are glorious and happy, and your present life may not match this picture. Instead of being bitter work on using the same mentality, same tools and principles to craft a better life and reinvent yourself. The past is proof that it can be done. routines11 p.10
Surrender to what is. The past is the way it is, accept that, good and bad. Accepting what happened will claw you to leave it all behind and work on crafting a brand new future.
Work on accepting, embracing an forgiving it all, no matter how hard or impossible it may seem. Don't cling. Don't let your past define and limit you. accept your past for what it is; an unchangeable event. routines11 p.10
Forgiveness
The most powerful thing that you can do for your physiology and spirituality is to forgive. However our egos get in the way of embracing forgiveness. We often equate forgiveness with accepting an evil deed or admitting defeat. Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds. routines11 p.10
Forgiving is for the person giving, not for the receiver. It is not an act f weakness, it is an act of strength. It is a gift to yourself to be at peace and to be happy. You don't forgive because you are weak but because you are strong enough to realize that only by giving up on resentment will you be happy.
Resentment, anger, hate, is poison.
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than anything on which it is poured." - Mark Twain quote
Remove the toxicity from your life by letting go of these negative emotions. Be angry, let it out, but then let it go.
FORGIVING YOURSELF
Give up your self defeating self talk... routines11 p.116
quote: "We have to learn to be our own best friends, because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies." - Roderick Thorp
Be Thankful
Be thankful for the bad things in your life. For they have opened your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. - Unknown quote
Be thankful for...
those who mistreated you, for they have showed you how not to live your life. routines11 p.15
those who betrayed you, because of them you have learned the power that comes from forgiveness.
difficult times, of they have showed you how strong you can be.
those who labeled, judged and criticized you. Because of them you have learned that your value and self worth come from yourself not from others.
those who gave you no love. Because of them you have learned to look for love and approval within yourself.
the many limited that were imposed on you. Because of them you have learned to break free from all the past conditioning to create your own reality and own rules.
past mistakes and failures. From them you learned how not to do things. You have learned what works and what doesn't.
both good and bad experiences life has sent your way. You have learned life's most valuable lessons.
Fill your heart with gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness. A thankful heart is better than a bitter one. routines11 p.15
The Power of "Right Now" Choice routines9 p.155
Good news is every moment you always face a choice. Where you are right now is poised in the present, the past stretches behind you, the future ahead. At any moment you can choose to change which side of "the curve" you are on. You cannot change the past, you can absolutely change the future.
You can not look in both directions at the same time. You can look back, or forwards; You're already taking some type of action, all you need to do is choose to have them serve to empower you, and keep on choosing. Let principles, your philosophy, make the choice. What is your code?
Making the choice to HAVE a choice is 99% of the battle. keypoint
------ CHAPTER: Why it can be difficult to stick to a routine. Or why you think it's difficult. keypoint The problem is, it's just as easy NOT to stick to a routine than it is to stick to one. It's 0% harder or easier.
Not having a clear picture of your future... and constant reminders of your past failures.
When you do have a clear picture of the future and consciously put time every day into letting yourself be drawn forward by that future, it will pull you through whatever friction and static you encounter in the present— and whatever tugging and clutching you may feel from the past. routines9 p.151
There is one quality which one must possess to win, the knowledge of what one wants, and the burning desire to possess it." - quote napoleon hill
Knowing what you want is important.
The word "want' has two meanings; It can mean you desire something; it can mean you lack something. We tend to desire what we lack, and lack what we desire. routines9 p.162
You need to define where you are now, and where you could be tomorrow. Your vision of what's possible for you in your life. There is a wanting gap between point A/B, there is a natural tension between those two poles. routines9 p.163
Tension is uncomfortable; and is naturally created between where you are and where you want to be. routines9 p.164
The "tension gap" can work against you or it can work for you. The tension has to be resolved, and it will, one way or the other. You have a voice in how it resolves, not if it resolves. routines9 p.165
People who live with huge, vivid, clearly articulated dreams are pulled along toward those dreams with such force, they become practically unstoppable. routines9 p.165
"The man doesn't determine the motivation, the mission does." - sv
Most tend to see larger or different problems as negative, and it infects their lives with negativity. You can gauge the limitations of a person's life by the size of the problems that get him or her down. You can measure the impact a person's life has by the size of the problems he or she solves. routines9 p.164 keypoint keyphrase
If you can solve big problems, you can graduate to big pay - because the size of your income will be determined by the size of the problems you solve too.
The key to success is to identify those things that are eventually going to become self-evident before they are self-evident. Or to put it even more simply: find out what the majority is doing and do the opposite— which can be uncomfortable. At least at first, when the 95 percent are ignoring you, laughing at you, or fighting you. But in the end, you win. routines9 p.167
Have you ever seen a statue erected for a critic?
"Blessed are the idiots, for they are the happiest people on earth." - Laotse quote
don't trust your own understanding; trust principles.
The issue isn't that you don't know HOW to accomplish something [stick to a routine], "how to do it is not the issue", if "how to do it" were the answer, it would be done. It's how you do the hows that's most important. routines9 p.16
sidenote ... well, crap.
What you need is {to create or adjust} your philosophy. routines9 p.16
Philosophy = the way you think about simple everyday actions.
The attitude behind the actions that keep those actions in place.
changing attitude is not enough. you can adjust your attitude by getting inspired, by listening to a great speaker, by reading an inspiring story, or by your best friend giving you a pep talk. Any of those things can get you moving in the right direction. Th problem is, it won't last. You may get inspired, but you can't freeze that feeling or glue the emotion of the moment into place. Emotions change like the wind, and you can't stop them. routines9 p.19
It's not about feeling. You can't dictate how you feel, no matter how much you tell yourself to feel positive this how to step or that how to step, what if you just don't? quote
Today, you're excited about getting fit. You feel like doing your twenty minutes on the treadmill. Great! But what if tomorrow you just don't feel like doing it? routines9 p.19
Yes, you have to know the winning how to actions, and you have to posses the winning attitudes, but what keeps it al in place is your philosophy.
Your philosophy is what you know, how you hold it, and how it affects what you do.
A positive philosophy turns into a positive attitude, which turns into positive actions, which turns into positive results, which turns into a positive lifestyle. (the opposite is true) routines9 p.20
"Do the thing, and you shall have the power." - Ralph Waldo Emerson quote
There are two forms of attitudes here... "value driven" vs. "entitled", what you owe vs what the world owes you. Earn vs. expect. routines9
Your philosophy is your view of life, something beyond feelings and attitudes and feelings, which drive your actions.
There is a natural progression to everything in life: plant, cultivate, harvest. quote
You have to experience the benefits of a routine before you can convince yourself to stick with it. Catch 22 being that you can't experience the benefits without actually sticking with a routine. keypoint {good way to open a blog post}
Often the routines are not defined clearly and effectively enough routines3
Can be fearful of a routine requiring you to get out of "flow states"
Often start too many routines at once routines3
[Exercise One - laying the ground work before you build routines] Lack of a sense of purpose can lower motivation to stick to a routine [a sense of purpose is a feeling, not an actual purpose... you can have one without the other]
Set goals with "why" in mind, but don't let a lack of a clear "why" keep you from making goals, you might just have to find it along the way.
Your "why" can be as simple as curiosity. “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” — Dorothy Parker quote
Write down your goals: Psychologist Gail Matthews at Dominican University found that you are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals just by writing them down. routines4 ~ what made you happy as a child? don't be afraid to dream.
"When asked what your profession is, explain your job function and its emotional dimension." routines4 - benefit of your benefit
For example, maybe you work for an insurance company, and your job title is financial analyst. But your role, what you want others to know about what you do, is to ensure people sleep well at night because they know they are protected from loss.
You don't question your beliefs about what you think your ability to stick to routines is.
As soon as you get into "should, "ought to" or "have to", another part of you is going to rebel. p.183 routines6 - internally we rebel against ourselves, our demands upon ourselves.
we must acknowledge this inner conflict before we can face it, this acknowledgement eliminates all the useless power struggles within.
we must identify what it is we're rebelling against. ex. rebelling against control, deadlines, calendars, etc.
"When you feel guilty about something, stop and deal with the guilt. Stop everything and decide either to do it and forget it, or not to do it and forget it, and not feel guilty about it. But make your choice a conscious choice. Don't try to fool yourself." - once you make the decision, it's settled, and you have to come to terms with the decision; accept the fact that it's something you have chosen to do or not to do. - routines6 p.184
Choice // When dealing with inner resistance about a choice, it's extremely important to make the statement: "If I want to, than I have to-- but do i really want to?" - its normal to be pulled in multiple directions at once. - routines6 p.184 Ex. if I want to become smarter & reach my goal of reading 100 books, I have to keep my routine of reading and writing every day... do I really want to? YES!"
You must maintain realistic expectations, especially when just getting started. It's unrealistic to expect yourself to become a routine type person if your whole life is an example of someone with no routines. // chances are you currently have routines (good and bad) that are every day.
Accept Your Own Limitations: Unrealistic expectations can immobilize you with anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy, discouragement, and resentment... ending up wasting time whirling around in these negative feelings instead of digging in and doing the task at hand + stressful way to live. - routines6 p.185 to p.186 --- Good question to ask: If someone else were in this same situation, what would you expect of them?
Dealing with Discouragement // "When you find yourself wasting time drowning in feeling of self loathing or self pity, don't berate yourself for having these feelings in addition to berating yourself for not getting the job done. Develop the habit at moments like this to say the word "oops" this means you allow yourself one second to acknowledge the you have slipped off track, then stubbornly refuse to waste any additional time wallowing. P.187 routines6 - life's futile and that's ok
Shift focus outward, to what needs to be done, instead of allowing yourself to concentrate inwardly. You are naturally more productive in a state of interaction externally than internally, when you need to get things done.
Measure your progress, but be careful not to let those measurements interfere with progress by discouraging yourself when you mess up, miss days, or weeks. You don't need to catch up most of the time, you need to just get back on track. P.188 routines6 ?what's the best way to measure the success or lack of success of a routine?
Fears // "To complete all tasks is to die." - Freud quote People fear both failure and completion of projects... they dread the lack of meaning that follows when they have finished something, many feel we need our work around us in order to feel important. routines6 p.191 // Fear of failure and { fear of completion keyphrase } both play a part in starting a new routine.
sidenote "why the fear of completion is holding you back from success"
We have an embedded fight or flight reaction to threat. Most of history we've been exposed to physical threats constantly. Now conflicts have shifted to internal for the most part. routines10
We worry about our self esteem, what people think about you, not being good enough, offending other people, worried of failure.
We spend a large portion of waking hours concerned about our emotional well-being, always trying to ensure we feel good. What does that say about your emotional health? When you're physically well, you don't think much about it. routines10
Healthy emotions reflect a healthy body, you shouldn't have to think much about them. When a problem arises, rather than burying it deeper, you mend it. You get over it, you let it go, so that it doesn't have to plague your future.
Three options to dealing with emotional problems.
You mend it.
You get over it.
You let it go.
Or burying it deeper.
Most people construct bizarre relationships with their emotional problems to protect themselves from facing their fears or traumas. routines10
"Everything you want is on the opposite side of fear." Jack Canfield quote
Make a list..
What are you afraid of?
What have you been hiding from?
What experiences have you been avoiding?
What conversations have you been avoiding?
What people have you been protecting yourself against?
What would your life be like if you confronted your fears, and grew past them.
When you face your fears they disappear. keyphrase quote routines10
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
Don't give into your fears, If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart. - routines11 p.17 quote
Self Fulfilling Prophecies
Beliefs become self fulfilling prophecies (good and bad). They shape our reality, they make us who we are. If we really want to create better life for ourselves we have to make sure the beliefs we hold on to are serving us well and that they are not sabotaging our happiness, well being. routines11 p.35
We shape our lives with our thoughts, our beliefs. If they are limiting, our lives will become limiting.
Thoughts have creative power.
Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become habits. Watch your habits for they become your character. And watch your character for it becomes your destiny. - Margaret Thatcher quote
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” - Muhammad Ali quote
Correct the thoughts you have and the words you speak to reflect where you want to be. routines11 p.39 keypoint
Choose One Thought Over Another.
sidenote good habit to form
Pay close attention to your thoughts and slowly replace negative ones with positive ones. Negative thoughts will not go away, but habitually replacing them can start a chain reaction. Change one at a time, change limiting belief at a time. routines11 p.41
As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. - Henry David Thoreau routines11 p.41
Life is a lot like a game. Once you learn the rules of the game, life seems to get a lot easier and you start to have a lot of fun. And the most important rule of the game is to pay close attention to the thoughts that run through your mind. - routines11 p.39
Anxiety // lack of routine can cause anxiety, and anxiety can fuel the fire that causes someone not to stick to a routine. Cause / Effect.
Depression // If / when you are down your thinking may become unclear, scattered, and fragmented. You may become paralyzed in your ability to accomplish anything. Even if you are active, you might not actually be getting anything accomplished. routines6 p.190
If you find yourself in this state...
Don't expect so much of yourself that day; you can exacerbate the situation by overwhelming yourself with expectations.
Find easy work you can do almost automatically and that don't require a great deal of concentration or decision making, you may change the order of your routines.
Forgive yourself for the days you don't accomplish as much as you might. There's no use in beating yourself over something you can't change, the past.
Don't relive again and again the negative aspects of your life.
Increase your physical activity... if you find you can't get motivated to start moving you need to take time to pinpoint the area of stress that's influencing the depressed state and address it, or acknowledge that you can't change it at the moment.
Keep in mind it's ok to do something for yourself... when you do something for yourself, you're doing something for your mental health.
The Power of Your Thoughts
"You and I are not what we eat; we are what we think." - Walter Anderson routines11 p.121
A toxic mind has the power to create a toxic life.
Sabotage our happiness
our relationships
our lifes
has the power to constantly recreate the same painful experiences, either in the same place with the same people, or with completely different people in different places.
IF we're experiencing seemingly external negative input to our lives often the only reason all those people, things and experiences were present in our lives, and the only reason they had so much power of us, was because we allow it. routines11 p.122
If you believe you should be treated poorly (unworthy of love, happiness, affection etc) you cant help but expect those around you to do the same. And through your actions and behaviors, you will do what it takes to make them treat you as poorly as you believe you deserve to be treated. routines11 p.122
We should all be kinder to ourselves and to each other.
It starts with how you think about yourself, with how you talk to, and about, yourself. With how you expect to be treated by those around you and by life itself.
The start is with yourself - how you think, talk. Once you give up your self defeating self talk, purify your own thoughts the world around you will start to get purified as well.*
NOTE - does this conflict with "The Confidence Gap" perspective?
Give Up Complaining
When you have little or no control over your thoughts, when you believe all the fearful, toxic and negative thoughts that run through your mind, you can’t help but point the finger. You can't help but complain about everything and everyone. routines11 p.91
Complaining is an addiction, that creates a false sense of separation between you and the world around you. Keeps you from connecting with yourself and the world at a deeper level.
It keeps you stuck in a place where outside circumstances seem to always control you and sabotage your happiness.
The more you complain, the further and further away you move from those around you, but also from your true essence. From the part of you that is always loving and always connected to everything and everyone. routines11 p.91
IF the time you spend with others is wasted on blaming, complaining and criticizing the world around you, they won't gain much from you. You will slowly push them away.
Every word you speak and every action you take impacts you and those around you in a positive or negative way. Choose to use that power to create a happier better word for you and those around you.
Complaining not only ruins everybody else’s day, it ruins the complainer’s day, too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we get. - Dennis Prager routines11 p.87
Complaining is like blaming and criticizing, it removes our joy. Keep s us in a dark place, and it continues to feed on its sales ideas. It's not the outside world that determines how we feel on the inside, but rather how we feel on the inside determines how we perceive the outside world. routines11 p.87
If you are happy and at peace with yourself you will have no interest in blaming, criticizing or complaining. Why? Because you're too busy loving, living, and enjoying life. routines11 p.87
If you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you’d be surprised by how well things can work out . . . Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier. - Randy Pausch routines11 p.89
Five reason people complain...
For attention, wanting to be noticed and use complaining as a way to bond with others.
Because complaining removes responsibility from our shoulders, pointing finger is easier than assuming responsibility and doing something about the thing that bothers us.
Pride and competitiveness, we complain about those who are less capable than we are.
Exercising power. Inciting others to abandon an alliance and switch to their point of view, or build support and power by focusing on what's wrong with another persons position. Manipulate our words to manipulate others.
Excuse poor performance. When something doesn't go as planned, we start to complain placing the blame on someone else. routines11 p.90 - p.91
People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining. —STEPHEN HAWKING routines11 p.91
Change your attitude...
"The one thing you can't take away form me is the way i choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of ones freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance." Viktor Frankl - Holocaust survivor - Mans Search for Meaning routines11 p.93
You have the power to choose a positive attitude in any given circumstance. To not be enslaved by all the pain, suffering, and unhappiness that surrounds you.
Change the way you look at whatever happens to you and around you. Look for the lessons, look for the meaning. Use every experience to propel yourself farther in life, and not to get stuck and become even more unhappy. routines11 p.93
Define What You Love: Your life won’t get better by itself. Your life will get better when you yourself get better. By giving up complaining, by focusing on that which you love and want to have in your life, and by taking the necessary steps to move yourself in a better direction, you will create a more beautiful and happier life for yourself and those you love. And there will be much less for you to complain about. routines11 p.95
Give Up The Luxury of Criticism
When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical. quote routines11 p.96
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie quote routines11 p.97
People grow together with.. Love, Appreciation, understanding and support.
Relationships perish with blame, judgement, and criticism; and with the lack of love appreciation, understanding and support.
Relationships aren't about making an unhappy person happy, nor are they about making an unloved person feel loved. They're about sharing love and happiness that is already present within you and with each other, growing, improving and evolving together, both emotionally and spiritually. routines11 p.97
Loving Ourselves Leads to Learning How to Love Others
But it is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said. You are hurting yourself. There is no way I can take this personally. - Don Miguel Ruiz quotes routines11 p.99
We experience the world largely as a projection of who we are sources are.
Our relationships and our lives are nothing but a construct of our thoughts, ideas and beliefs.
If there is inner turmoil, unease, pain and past wounds that are not yet healed, consciously or unconsciously we will project all those negative thoughts out ourselves, and we will attract into our lives the people, places and experiences that will continue to feed our inner shadows and darkness. routines11 p.99
OUR JOB is not to criticize wha others are doing, our job is to focus our energy on healing, accepting, loving and embracing all that we are.
The moment we make peace with ourselves, we also make peace with all those things, people places and experiences that once caused us to feel hurt, unloved and neglected.
It's only by letting go of the pain we harbor within us and only by filling our hearts with love and compassion that we can see the world as it really is. ONLY by loving ourselves can we love the world around us, and only by no longer criticizing ourselves will we stop criticizing others.
There is much more to life than what meets the eye. There’s more to each and every one of us than our fearful and judgmental minds want us to believe. routines11 p.101
Every fault you find in others touches a denied weakness in yourself. If the things you see on the outside bother you, it’s only because they reflect back at you the things that are already within you. routines11 p.101
sidenote We hold onto things that give us pain because they're comfortable, we've done the negative thing, thought the negative though, said the negative saying so many times that it's become routine. Instead of giving up the suffering and pain, we hold on because it's easy. In it's place, though, could be a whole other way of experiencing life.
You will most likely fail at this, but that's the point. To experience the difference between how you would normally react and how you want to react. When something aggravates you, acknowledge that you want to complain, and replace that feeling with a thought of your choice, it can a positive reaction to the thing (look for the good in it) or you can just replace it with a completely other thought. Let yourself daydream about the other thought, let it create a positive feeling inside of you. If you're still aggravated, acknowledge that it's past a threshold that you currently have. The idea is to practice replacing negative with something else.
We're all just a collection of routines and sub routines that we've been practicing for a long time. We may not even notice how we automatically react to something, we may not be able to observe in the moment what we do. We've put ourselves on autopilot, because it's easier, because our brains are wired to conserve energy.
Bring awareness into your life...
Give as much attention to your thoughts, feelings and reactions as you give to those things, people and experiences that cause you to hold on to judgement and criticism.
Pay close attention to your reactions, whenever you catch yourself projecting your own darkness, your own pain and your own suffering onto those around you, with a smile on your face, silently repeat these words to yourself: I am better than this, I can do better than this. routines11 p.103
Chose to do better.
Give up the need to judge and criticize not only those around you but also yourself. Learn to look for the good in people and also in yourself.
Mak peace with your own darkness so that you can accept, embrace and make piece with everyone else's darkness. routines11 p.103
Replace Criticism with Compassion
They aren’t bad; they are damaged and they deserve compassion. Note that compassion is an internal process, an understanding of the painful and troubled road trod by another. It is not trying to change or fix that person. - Will Bowen quote
Nobody’s perfect. We all have flaws, we all have internal conflicts to deal with, and we all have many hidden wounds that we’re desperately trying to hide or heal. routnies11 p.105
Talk to and about others in the way you would have others talk to and about you. Treat the world around you in the same way you would like to be treated: with respect, love, kindness and compassion. routines11 p.105
Chose Temporary Discomfort over Long Term Resentment
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. - Orian Mountain Dreamer quote
You can only give to others as much as you give to yourself, and if you yourself aren't happy and at peace with yourself, you won't be able to make other people happy either.
Seek to do the things that bring YOU joy, meaning and happiness, make yourself a priority.
The irony is that when you follow your own path, others will respect you more in the long run. Set your own boundaries and show the world what you are truly made of. routines11 p.112
Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. - Brené Brown
People treat you the way you teach them to treat you, the way you allow them to treat you.
Through your approval seeking behavior, you tell yourself and the whole world that who you are is not enough and that you need other peoples approval in order for you to feel whole, loved and validated.
Inform people of what you will tolerate and what you will not, do not be afraid to "betray" others just so you can honor and be true to yourself. routines11 p.114
Honor yourself, your needs, your dreams and desires.
Be true to yourself.
Treasure your authenticity and integrity.
"Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it." - Bruce Lee
Most of us are raised to believe that being obedient and living our lives according to how other people expect us to live is the perfect way to get love and approval.
If you want meaning in your life, you have to have the courage to do the things that the majority of people don't have the courage to do.
Let the world see the real you.
Let people love you for who you truly are and not for who they expect you too be.
Learn to be what you are, and learn to resign with good grace all that you are not. - Henri-Frederic Amil quote
Seek to Live Purposefully routines11 p.115
“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” - Tony Robbins
Ask yourself these questions and many others like them.
What is it that i have to offer?
What can i do better than anyone else?
What is my deepest and most powerful desire?
How do I want to be remembered by my friends, my family?
Is there purpose in my life?
Am I happy with the life I am living now?
Dont do things because the world expects you to do them, but rather because they make sense to you. Do them because something inside of you is asking you to do them. "Start a huge, foolish project, like Noah... it makes absolutely no difference what people think of you." - Rumi routines11 p.115
sidenote Find something you want to do so bad and so huge and foolish that only you and God himself understand why you're doing it. Don't look for external motivation, don't look for internal, rely on the motivation that comes from taking the first step at the base of a mountain. The step that commits you to the act. The step that frees you from needing reason. The step is an act. The act is a pledge. You may not complete your mission, you may find a better one to replace it, you may even die trying... but the point isn't completion. The point is that first step, freeing yourself from the poor excuses for reasons that drive you now, and the unneeded expectations of others
Become an Imperfectionist // Many of us have the mindset of "either I'm going to do it perfectly or I'm going to wait until I have the time and energy and skill and everything else to do it perfectly. "If it's worth doing at all, it's worth doing poorly." - GK Chesterton quote - if we only do the things that we could do perfectly, we wouldn't do much. keypoint routines6 p.191
sidenote I started this project looking for an easy answer to why it's so hard for me to start and stick to a routine; what I came to find was that answering that question isn't straightforward. It goes deep into our mental psyche. I assumed it had to do with motivation, but the real answer is found within our emotions and our expectations for ourselves.
Part of the resistance within us is involved in accepting our own limitations, at this particular moment, given the amount of time, energy, etc available to me, this is the best that I personally can do. keypoint
sidenote - it's not that you're bad at sticking to routines, it's that you're not being honest with yourself about your own limitations and adjusting your plan for them.m
Answer: Make a conscious choice, deciding, "yes, it's worth it and I will do it, or No, it isn't worth it and I won't do it." routines6 p.191
"success feeds on success, the important thing is to be consistent; avoid going from one extreme to the other.
The "Just For Today" Philosophy. - It is overwhelming to consider the past (past thought = depression), and the future (future thought = anxiety) when making the decision to execute a routine. sidenote - [try not to think of routines as a decision, they're something you do- not something you chose to do.] Try and set the realistic goal of executing your routine {book is discussing being organized} "just today". You don't have to resolve all your fears, anxieties, and depression before you begin... you just have to begin. routines6 p.192
RESULT: Often the inner turmoil will lessen as you bring your external environment (routine/work) into a more orderly state.
sidenote // routines are a type of organization, if you have a hard time organizing your things, your going to find it difficult to organize your mind.
How to avoid overwhelm...
Avoid stating that you're changing forever, ex. "From now on I'm always going to stick to my routine all the time, forever, and never mess up." That is overwhelming, especially if you're just getting started. keypoint
Yes: For the next one twenty-four-jour period. I will {stick to my routine and keep an eye on the results and notice how I feel when I accomplish my routine.
Yes: For the next one twenty four hour period I will not berate myself if I don't accomplish a specific aspect of my routine, consistency is my goal not perfection.
Yes: for the next twenty four hour period I will _. Add your own mantra.
Keep in mind - "the only expectations you need to live up to are your own." just because someone else seems good (or natural) at routines, doesn't mean you have to be; or should be. sidenote chances are they have spent much more time practicing sticking to a routine than you have.
Summary of Chapter 13 "Organizing for The Creative Person" http://vid.increase.ventures/cY3d
Beware of an all or nothing working style. Doing a little at a time consistently is the key to success.
Be willing to let go of familiar but ineffective ways of doing things.
Forget "Yea, but..." You can do it.
Replace "should" with "want to" and guilt with action.
Set deadlines for yourself so others don't need to set them for you.
Recognize that conflicts are often within yourself rather than with others.
Learn to set realistic expectations for yourself.
Don't compare yourself with others.
Say the word "oops" when you mess up, then focus on what needs to be done. (instead of self pity or blame)
You may need to deal with your emotions before you can deal with the problem.
Most people don't stick with the simple daily disciplines it takes to get where they want to go, because they don't know how to look ahead far enough along the curve to see the results they are creating. routines9 p.39
How do you look far enough ahead to preview the results you create by daily sticking with a routine?
Parkinson's Law: "Work expands to fill the time available for its completion." - or applied to finances "Whatever I have, I spend." routines9 p.52
sidenote perhaps combine the above research into these three reasons. "I decided the 'slight edge' has the best framework of "reasons" to why we don't stick to routines."
Reason 1: They're easy to do.
"Not doing the things we know we should do causes us to feel guilty and guilt leads to an erosion of self-confidence. As our self-confidence diminishes, so does the level of our activity. And as our activity diminishes, our results inevitably decline. And as our results suffer, our attitude begins to weaken. And as our attitude begins the slow shift from positive to negative, our self-confidence diminishes even more ... and on and on it goes. " further reading: http://www.getmotivation.com/jimrohn/jreasy_success.html
One must understand and believe deep down in the power of "the slight edge" (daily declines, routines) in order to stick with them. keypoint
Following your routines is a daily & hourly choice. The compound effect of both side of the equation will add up over time. "A simple, positive action, repeated over time. A simple error in judgement, repeated over time." - routines9 p.54
Reason 2: The Results (of routines, daily disciplines) Are Invisible
The results are too far in the future. They're invisible. sidenote his use of this phrase is annoying: "that is, unless you know how to look through the lens of the slight edge." - we get it.
Example: reading 10 pages today of a good book aimed at improving your life, your life will not change. If you don't read 10 pages today of a good book today, your life will not fall apart. HOWEVER: Doing this every day, for a year, you would have read 3650 pages - equivalent of one or two dozen books of life transforming material. Would your life have changed? Absolutely, no question. keypoint p.57 routines9
The problem: back her win day 1 of week 1, all of that is way in the future. When you make the right choice, you don't see the results, at least not today. We're use to results now, no delay in satisfaction.
Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. Progressive means success is a process, not a destination. Something you experience gradually, over time. Failure is JUST as gradual. routines9 p.57
The difference between success and failure is so subtle, you can't even see it or recognize it during the process.
"most pole live out their entire lives without ever grasping how the slight edge is working in their lives ... because it seems like those little things don't really matter."
The difference between success and failure is not dramatic, it's so subtle most people miss it.
It's not hard to see how people come to this understanding of life, it's completely understandable, it's just not the truth. The truth is what you do matters. What you do today matters, what you do every day matters. keyphrase
The smaller the choice, the more likely it matters. "Faithful in least, faithful in most." Successful people are those who understand that the little choices they make matter, ... because they chose to do things that seem to make no difference at all in the act of doing them, and they do them over and over and over until the compound effect kicks in.
"The little things" that will make you successful in life, that will secure your health, happineness, fulfillment, dreams, are simple, subtle, mundane things that nobody will see, nobody will applaud, nobody will ever notice. They are those things that, at the time you do them, often feel like they make absolutely no difference. keypoint
sidenote { THIS is the key identifier of if you should add something to your routine. WHAT small thing, done daily, will create a landslide of effects later. WHAT small things did you do in the past can you attribute to compound effects in successful parts of your life currently? } things that are ridiculously easy to do, but just as easy not to do. - p.58 routines9
You have to CARE about your choices. Understand that little choices matter.
List of basic actions people could take to move their business forward "The Ten Core Commitments" Example: http://sites.legalshield.com/pdf/59920.pdf
The secret to the 5 percent’s success is always in mundane, easy things that anyone could do. p.62 routines9
Emotional Hangups Keeping us From Reaching Even our Smallest Goals
sidenote - a small routine that I really want in my life; or I have wanted for awhile; reminds me of the failure to stick with it consistently in the past. We're creatures of habit, even if we think we're not - it may just be bad habits.
Analogy from "The Untethered Soul" - We all have a thorn in our arm. Right in a nerve, consequently the slightest brush of the thorn cause immense pain that shoots throughout the body. routines10
In order for us to live without pain, we make sure nothing touches the thorn in our arm. We learn how to manage every area of life so n nothing touches the torn. From work, recreation, relationships. We're controlled by the external environment so much so we're "Freed" from the trouble of the thorn. routines10
In reality, all this person has done is cover up the problem, by doing so he's built his entire life around the problem.
Other option: simply remove the thorn.
We all have internal "thorns" we've built our entire life around. Childhood traumas, fears, emotions insecurities. Whenever something "touches" these internal thorns, rather than letting them rise to the surface, experiencing them, and letting them go, we bury them deeper by distracting ourselves from the pain as quickly as possible. routines10
"You always get out of life exactly what you tolerate." - Tony Robbins. You've learned to tolerate living with your fears and internal conflicts. Resulting in settling for a life far beneath your potential. We all have.
Dealing With FEAR
First step in living a life of freedom is to realize that you are not your fears. You experience your fears. Same with thoughts, you are aware of your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You are the subject - your thoughts, feelings and physical experience are objects. routines10
Natural Reaction to Fear
Fight ~ add more
Flight ~ add more
Most people build their lives around their fears. They have over attached themselves to a particular self concept. Created a box around themselves "personality" to define who they are and how they act. Truth is much more simple: You are the one who experiences your thoughts, feelings, and physical senses. Observer of inner and outer world around you. routines10
You determine where you place your awareness (focus) what psychologists call selective attention. You 'pay-attention' to thoughts, feelings, and things that matter to you. What you focus on, expands, your awareness of things make them real to you. routines10
When you experience something associated with a fear or emotional disturbance, an internal thorn, your attention immediately shifts from whatever you were doing. You are distracted. routines10
sidenote { routines require focus, they require a quiet mind. If you live with many internal thorns that you don't know how to deal with, you're going to find execution of them difficult. Keeping your eye on the ball is simple, to do, or not to do.
To Do: Take a conscious step back. You are not the thoughts or feelings you're experiencing. routines10 You are not the thoughts or feelings you're experiencing. The fact that these emotions are rising up is a signal you have an unresolved internal conflict.
Rather
// sidenote you know you should ... but why don't you? keyword: should. Should is a word we use for things we don't ACTUALLY believe yet. We know it's good for us, we realize it's benefits. But we haven't actually proven it to ourselves yet. It is much easier to know something than to believe it. Believing, by it's nature, requires action ~ internal or external; otherwise it's just knowing.
Managing the Running Commentary in your head.
Sometimes the running commentary in our mind spills out into things you say to yourself, but most of the time it's that silent voice whispering between your hears, and there is no voice more powerful. routines9 p.184
Your own thoughts are a virus. Your thoughts multiply themselves by the power of compounding interest, they grow. This is true of positive and negative thoughts. It's not even a matter of bee careful what you wishful, you just might get it; it's a matter of what you think period. What you think multiplied by action plus time, will create what you get. routines9 p.186
You, through the power of your own thoughts, are the most influential person in your life. Which means there is nobody more effective at undermining your success, and nobody more effective at supporting your success. routines9 p.186
sidenote except when it comes to spiritual things.
The purpose of investing in yourself is not to accumulate knowledge skills or fluency in a specific area, they are not the principle aim. The self investment is to train you how to think and what you think. routines9 p.186
There are two different types of functions within our mind,. the conscious and the unconscious. Conscious is the part doing what we think of as "thinking". Focuses intensely on one thing at a time. Conscious mind is incredibly powerful at what it does, but it's scope is very limited. Mostly focused on one thing at a time. routines9 p.186
Unconscious remembers trillions of things. Our conscious mind reference the unconscious, similar to shining a light on a page of a book. Conscious brain is easily distracted.
We generally think of what is "us", our conscious mind, and our subcouncous as something vague going on under the surface. The truth is the subconscious runs virtually everything. routines9 p.186
99.99% of everything you do is on auto pilot. In other words, often in the same way you take a walk and end up at home without ever thinking about it is similar to how must people end up in their lives saying "how did I get here?" On auto pilot. You can either let things around you chose what programs your subconscious, or you can chose the programming. routines9 p.187
You must invest in adding to your subconscious things that are useful to helping you reach your end goals, and not things that will lower your ability to each them, it's one or the other... and it's your job to chose. routines9 p.189
Learning by studying and learning by doing; book smarts and street smarts, are both important to include in your experience.
------ CHAPTER: CREATING RITUALS / ROUTINES or How to Build Routines into Your Life.
You have to craft routines, rituals, and habits.
The beauty of routines (the slight edge) is that it's a very generous process. It requires only a minuscule contribution from you, and yet it offers you a gigantic return. It demands a penny and returns a million dollars. Starting with "the penny" is your part of the deal, the rest of the equation is time. p.64 routines9
If you want to understand and apply the slight edge (routines) to create the life of your dreams, you can't make your everyday choices based on the evidence of your eyes. You need to make them based on what you know. You have to see through the eyes of time. routines9 p.68
Don't think with your heart, don't trust your desires, trust your mind. Learn to trust the finish line more than the next step. sidenote
From Page 68 - 70 routines9
"Let’s say you’re in a tough place in your life. The scales are tipped badly, the negative side tilted way down. Whether it’s your health, or your finances, or your marriage, or your career … whatever it is, you’ve reached a place where many years of simple errors in judgment have compounded over time, and you’re feeling it. You’re behind the eight ball. It sure would be nice if, somehow, you could do something dramatic. If you just wake up tomorrow and have it all turned around— snap your fingers and change it. That might happen, in a movie. But this is your life. What can you do? What happens if you add one small, simple, positive action to the success side? Nothing you can see. What happens if you add one more? Nothing you can see. What happens if you keep adding one more, and one more, and one more, and one more … Before too long, you see the scales shift, ever so slightly. And then again. And eventually, that heavy “failure” side starts to lift, and lift, and lift … and the scales start swinging your way. No matter how much negative weight from the past is on the other side, just by adding those little grams of success, one at a time (and by not adding more weight to the failure side), you will eventually and inevitably begin to shift the scales in your favor. Way back in the beginning, when you add the first few tiny, insignificant bits of positive action, you won’t see the scales move at all and that will frustrate you— if you judge your choices by the evidence of your eyes. It frustrates nineteen out of twenty people so much, they quit. No matter what you have done in your life up until today, no matter where you are and how far down you may have slid on the failure curve, you can start fresh, building a positive pattern of success, at any time. Including right now. But you need to have faith in the process, because you won’t see it happening at first. If you base your choices on the evidence, on what you can see, you’re sunk. You need to base your choices on your philosophy— on what you know, not what you see.
Olson, Jeff; David Mann, John (2013-10-31). The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness (pp. 69-70). Greenleaf Book Group Press. Kindle Edition.
They understand that it is not any one single push on the flywheel but the cumulative total of all their sequential, unfailingly consistent pushes that eventually creates movement of such astonishing momentum in their lives.
Philosophy: Form habits that feed your success, instead of habits that feed your failure.
They achieve these dramatic results in their lives through making choices that are the very antithesis of drama— mundane, simple, seemingly insignificant choices.
The unwanted circumstances, the poor results you’ve produced in the past, and the evidence of failures in your life, may all continue for a time. There may be no light at the end of the tunnel, or at least none you can see today. But by putting time on your side, you’ve marshaled the forces of the slight edge. Your success becomes inevitable. You just need to stay in the process long enough to give it a chance to win.
Patience is uncomfortable, and can be scary. Especially if you're the only one around who's attempting it. The path to success can be inconvenient, it can be much easier not to stay on it; especially at the start.
You are often a pioneer; first in your peer group, family, etc to apply this. Pioneers don't know what's out there, takes courage. "Courage means to have a purpose and to have heart."
Once you are aware of the value of (the slight edge) you will naturally have both purpose and the straight of heart to stay on that purpose. The important point is to start on the path and to remember that no matter what has gone on before, you can begin fresh and new anytime you chose. p.72 routines9
sidenote This all seems like common sense, and it really is, however there's a difference in knowing common sense and believing in it. Believing in it requires much more than knowing it, requires faith in the results of actions that have no immediate benefit. It requires setting aside your lesser desires to 'give up' in exchange for a focused approach on consecutive right action.
sidenote you ARE experiencing the results of routine right now even if you consider yourself a "free spirit" without the need of routines. If you can't put your finger on good routines, chances are you can define your bad routines. Do you constantly distract yourself with social media, put off important decisions, consistently tell white lie to avoid confrontation, avoid the gym even though you bought that gym membership? These are small-ish, ongoing, "routine" items that are negative routines that are having a cumulative effect over time on you. You often define yourself by your negative routines; I'm not good at XYZ. What if you learned how to correct your course in the moment and redefine HOW you view the 'small' things in your life?
Being in The Now
Routines are firmly planted in the present; you can not execute them in the past or future. Most of us live with one foot planted firmly in the past and the other tucked timidly in the future. routines9 p.73
"Your life exists only in the moment" - Ekhart Tolle quote
You absorb and live the power of living in the moment simply by being fully in the process of living your life; not regretting the past, not dreading the future.
Belief: If I stay on this road long enough, I'll get the result I'm seeking. It's not a question of your mood or your feelings, and it's not a question of willpower. It's a question of simply knowing. p.74 routines9 - you simply know that a light switch will turn on a light, you don't think about it; you believe it and experience the results of turning it on.
"Impossible just takes a little longer than the possible." Success takes time yes, however less than most think. Once the momentum of the slight edge starts to kick in it becomes unstoppable, and you reach a point where results do indeed start to happen very fast. p.75 routines9
Solution: Learn the Relationship Between Actions, Habits, Character, and Your Destiny.
"Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny." - Charles Reade
We are all aware of the insidious and destructive power bad habits can have in our lives, even if we're not quite as aware of our own as others are. A lot is written about the power of good and bad habits, but we tend to overlook the enormous power of positive, intentional habits. keypoint p.217 routines9
We tend to take our good habits for granted.
A habit is something you do without thinking. You don't make a conscious decision if that thing is right for you in the moment.
Most actions you take can be tied to a habit. They can be monitored and changed.
Good & Bad habits have their roots in choice, in little decisions you make and over which you have complete control.
Complete control at first, until they become automatic and take on a life of their own. They will determine the direction of your life. Question is: which behaviors do you want to have take on a life of their own? routines9 p.218
The way a behavior turns into a habit is by repeating it over and over and over until it becomes automatic, creation of habits is birthed in routines. The compounded effect of those habits over time will work either for you or against you, depending on whether they're habits that serve you or habits that don't. They are fuel.
"The individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate that might of the force of habit, and must understand that practices are what create habits. He must be quick to break those had its that can break him, and hasten to adopt those practices that will become the habits that can help him achieve the success he desires." - J. Paul Getty
Your habits come form your daily activities compounded over time. And your activities are the result of the choices you make in the moment.
Your choices come from your habits of thought, which are the product of your thinking, which comes from the view you have of the world and your place in it - your philosophy. routines9 p.219
sidenote - quick question (that to me is probably the most important question when you're working on improving your self/life/business.) Your honest answer is the answer to why you are where you are, and why you're not where you want to be... that question? "How do I define my place in the world?" If you answer it honestly there's a good chance your current actual belief is different than what you want to believe. You need to dig deep and address whatever it is that makes the answer NOT what you want it to be. Work on changing till you actually believe where you want to be, instead of holding on to where you might think you belong. This was my biggest barrier to "leveling up", I didn't ACTUALLY believe I could do it. I wanted to believe, but I didn't do the things I needed to get there. I didn't take the actions, didn't adjust the habits, didn't work to address my doubts. It's not easy, and it definitely takes time. But if you take the time to dig deep, focus intensely, and resolve to change; well - you can do it
"The Steel Cables of Behavior" - like the suspension cables that hold up the Golden Gate Bridge are flexible, and incredibly strong; they seem unbreakable. routines9 p.219
The ropes of behavior made up of your everyday little choices are just like the enormous metal cables that hold up the bridge. Each choice is a length of steel wire. By itself, it's not that big of a deal, but when braided together, when compounded with all the other choices you make, these slender lengths of wire form a tree-trunk-like tension line of awesome strength. "Nothing is stronger than habit." - Romen poet Ovid routines9 p.219
The cables made from your right choice uphold and support you. Those made from wrong choices impression and restrain you. These cables are your habits of thought and attitude.
Look at your predominant habits of thought and the kinds of choices you habitually make; this will give you a preview of where you are going.
Your habits operate at the unconscious level, which means you are not normally aware of them. You must bring a habit into your conscious awareness so you can observe what it's doing, how it empowers and serves you (or doesn't). Once you are aware of a habit that doesn't serve you, how do you change it or get rid of it? All it takes is knowing where to focus your energy, that plus time. routines9 p.219
Trying to get rid of an unwanted habit is a bit like trying not to think about an elephant, the more you try not to think about it, the more you think bout it. That's because what you focus on grows. Which is why people who put a lot of energy into focus on what they don't want, by talking about it, thinking about it, complaining about tit, or fretting about it, usually get precisely that unwanted thing. routines9 p.220
It's tough to get rid of the habit you don't want by facing it head on. The way to accomplish it is to replace the unwanted habit with another habit that you do want. Creating new and better habits, ones that empower and serve you, it's something you know how to do - you do it the same way you build any habit you have; one step at a time. routines9 p.220
sidenote How to identify your bad habits, and why you should identify and replace them. We all have 100s of miniature habits that fire almost every few minutes of every day. Some are good, some are bad, and some have no real consequence. It could be a pattern way of thinking, the way we unlock our phone, or how we lie to avoid conflict. These habits are always there, influencing how we live our life. Objectively we can identify them and probably point out the negative ones really quickly, but in the moment we generally do not even realize we're executing them. The most insidious ones are our instant reactions to internal or external conflict. Even if that conflict isn't negative, if it's outside of our comfort zone it will trigger a habitual reaction from us. And habitual reactions can only really be managed before they're triggered.
Random Tips (Rules of Routines)
Josh Waitzkin in The Art of Learning suggests Investing in Failure. routines10
Instead of selecting easy bench marks you know you can hit invest in an opponent that is far superior in skill to you. You will most likely lose, but the goal is to fail; as a result you are forced to quickly identify weaknesses and adapt. Trial by fire. routines10
This can require humility. Admission of your own lack of ability; we are often far too confident in our own abilities.
"Rather than avoiding imposter syndrome, you should embrace it. The more you can feel like an impostor, the better. When you feel like an impostor, you're out of your comfort zone. You're doing something beyond where you currently are."
Get Over Yourself
Most people live a life of fear because their main concern is their own feelings. Most pursue things that they believe will make them happy.
Happiness is not a pursuit; it is a side effect or pursing a cause greater than yourself. Purpose trumps passion always. routines10
Throw your feelings under the figurative bus.
It's not about you, it's about the cause, it's about your purpose.
The goal of routines should be to remove obstacles. Because such obstacles could hold you back from being your most effective self. routines3
Your goal is to direct your subconscious mind to create the outcomes you seek. Additionally, you want to tap into your subconscious mind to unlock connections and solutions to your problems and projects. routines1
Habit Stacking is a way to build a new habit into your life by stacking it on top of something you’re currently doing. routines2 (ex. before I brush my teeth in the morning (current habit) I will meditate (new habit) for 3 minutes.)
Try to have the first hour of your day vary as little as possible with a routine. routines2
Remember, email is someone else’s request of your time. Prioritize your goals and tasks first before looking at email so you don’t go into reactive mode as opposed to proactive mode. routines2
Jack Dorsey "Theming" Routine - Every day he devotes himself to one area of his businesses. Monday is for meetings and management tasks. Tuesday is explicitly reserved for product development. Wednesday is devoted to marketing, communications and growth. Thursday to developers and partnerships and Friday to the company and its culture. Dorsey calls this approach theming days. It never leaves him with a question about what to focus on. routines3
There’s interruptions all the time, but I can quickly deal with an interruption and know ‘it’s Tuesday, I have product meetings, I have to focus on product stuff”. — Jack Dorsey
It is important to actively question your routines and tweak them if necessary. It would be a shame if you’d establish a routine where you do your creative work at noon, only to find out later that you do your best creaive work in the morning. routines3
Stick to a certain routine for an extended amount of time before you start to tweak or completely change it. Every routine takes time to settle in. routines3
Add Buffers : Routines that are directly tied to time only started to work for me once I added buffers. Don't be a slave to your routines routines3
When I find myself being in the flow, I ruthlessly ignore my routines. This allows me to benefit from the increase productivity and creativity. It would be wrong to bend yourself to your routine in this case as it actually would make you less effective. routines3
routines9 - Essential points from Chapter 6 - p. 92
Quantum leaps do happen, but only as the end result of a lengthy, gradual buildup of consistently applied effort.
No success is immediate, no collapse is sudden. They are both the result of the slight edge accruing momentum over time.
Hoping for “the big break”— the breakthrough, the magic bullet— is not only futile, it’s dangerous, because it keeps you from taking the actions you need to create the results you want.
Create routine responses to outside stimulus
Crafting Your Routines (step by step) ~ take away routines3
Tracking Your Routine Success (or really any success for that mater) routines9 p.8 - http://vid.increase.ventures/13xZm
On days that you are successful - you need to define WHAT it is that you did in those moments of success.
On days you fail - you need to define WHAT it was that caused you to fail. Specifically.
Acknowledge: In the past you have actually done the items in your routine, you have successful accomplished everything you want to do in your routine. The only difference when you fail is that you didn't keep doing them. This means you already have everything you need to keep to a successful routine. routines9
This means you don't need to learn some insanely difficult skills, or have some genius-level brainstorm of innovation. All you have to do is keep doing the things that you did successfully in the first place, just more consistently. Which is exactly what 99.9% of people don't do.
Identify Things You Do Daily (repeatedly)
these are the activities that can benefit the most from creating a routine out of.
the goal is to identify the decisions you can eliminate before you encounter them
Start with just one new routine at a time, add new ones as you become consistent with others, create a roadmap. ?one new routine a week?
Parts of life where you can add routines routines3 // verbatim from post:
Daily structure based on work, leisure time, reading, personal development.
Food intake (it feels so good not having to think about what to eat)
Work day structure (I pick five items I want to complete. I always plan it the evening before. I always leave buffer.)
Writing process
Product design process
Exercise
Tools for maximizing your routines
Simple KPI
Process Street
Meditation app
Morning Routines
Morning routine are critical for lifetime success. A morning routine sets the tone for the whole day, and if you do each day right, you’ll do life right. routines2
Our minds are most creative following sleep. Creativity is making connections between different parts of the brain. routines1
Thought dumps into journal for several minutes, rather than focus on input, he focuses on output. "crystallized intelligence".
loosely direct your thought dumping toward your goals.
consider the intentions you set the night before for your subconscious
ask yourself questions, write the answers
practice makes perfect, with consistency you become fluent and automatic at achieving creative and intuitive bursts.
Cathryn Lavery - Example of a 60 Minute Morning Routine routines2
Wake up drink 16oz glass of ice cold water
rehydrate, wake up, kickstart metabolism
Stretch or 7 Minute Workout
shake off grogginess / limber up
Take Cold Shower 3minutes
numerous health benefits
Brush Teeth Get Dressed
Meditate
gain focus for the day.
Meditation Tool: muse headband - Muse will guide you to a calm mind - Muse measures whether your mind is calm or active, and translates that data into weathers sounds. After each session, review your data, set goals, and build a deeply rewarding meditation practice that gets better every time.
Ray Dalio practices meditation everyday. The philanthropist and founder of investment management firm Bridgewater Associates believes taking time to disconnect and relax for a brief period makes him more efficient in his personal life, helping him “feel like a ninja in a fight.” Research supports the idea that meditation leads to stress prevention: the David Lynch Foundation has seen a 10 percent increase in test scores and a 40 percent reduction in stress in children who sit quietly for short periods of time. routines4
Coffee (bulletproof) + clean while brewing - possibly make bed?
Reading (20 minutes)
get creative juices flowing
Writing (750 words - 15-20minutes)
Daily Goals (5min)
write out long term goals working towards and write out daily goals, mindful of the direction those goals will take me)
Write out day's targets, three things need to accomplish to move me further toward my long term goals.
Daily Plan (3min)
Evening Routines
Evening Meditation // Set intentions in Motion
“Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.” — Thomas Edison quote
Take a few moments before you go to bed to meditate on and write down the things you’re trying to accomplish. routines1
Ask yourself questions related to the things you are meditating on. Make requests. Write them down. Intention is to let your subconscious mind work on these things while you sleep. routines1
What to do when you fail at your routine.
Failure is a sign you need to adjust your course, not that you are a failure.
"Double your rate of failure... you're thinking of failure as an enemy, but it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure, or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember thats where you'll find success. On the other side of failure." - Thomas Watson routines10 p.182
Course correction when you fail is a constant process. It's the process of consistently adjusting the direction you are heading based on feedback from the trajectory you are currently on. Just like a rocket will adjust course to get from point A to point B, you need to modify your direction based on feedback from your internal instruments.
You have a choice to interact with external feedback in multiple ways, many of them will lead you in the right direction, many will not. Your goal should always be to use the external feedback to chose the path best aligned with your end point goal.
Knowing where it is you want to go, knowing how to make the adjustments automatically will help you make the choice that serve you. Doing simple seemingly insignificant things that forward your progress up the success curve.
You must return to the proper course if and when you mess up. Realize and admit that seemingly minor adjustments add up exponentially for the rest of your life. rourtines10 p.184
Self Assessing Your Trajectory & Set Priorities
You are always either improving, or eating away at your progress: http://vid.increase.ventures/1dlfE routines9 p.151 & p.152
sidenote use this as a tool to help identify where you should build new routines into your life.
Thumbs up or Thumbs Down?
Health
Fitness
Happiness Level
Friendships
Marriage / Relationships
Family
Learning
Capabilities
Finances
Ability to Focus
Career Impact
Impact On Those Around You
The best thing about genuine success is that it spreads. Like ripples in a pond, even small successes in any one of these areas begins to affect all the others, too.
Ex. If you are having a hard time making progress in one area— say, in business— take action to make a small positive change in an unrelated area.
The key is, start somewhere. Wherever you can take action and begin creating little successes, do it. Don’t wait. routines9 p.153 p.154
7 Positive & Productive Habits of attitude and behavior that will support you under any circumstance and support you on the path to your dreams.
1: Showing Up
"We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." -Jim Rohn quote
The world is rife with hesitation, the cornerstone of mediocrity.
When you talk with people who have achieved extraordinary things it is stunning how often they will tell you some version of "I just decided to do it." Kill, knowledge, experience, connections, resources, finances, expertise, and all these things are part of the journey, but none of them are possible until the journey itself is initiated. routines9 p.220
Do The Thing and You Shall Have the Power
Wait and watch and work, and don't give up.
2: Be Consistent
80% of success is showing up every ay. Showing up consistently is where the magic happens, it's the consistency that greatly multiplies "showing up" power.
In baseball, my theory is to strive for consistency, not to worry about the numbers. If you dwell on statistics you get shortsighted; if you aim for consistency, the numbers will be there at the end. - Tom Seaver / Hall of Famer Baseball
sidenote the power of averages. The more input pieces you can add to the puzzle the more likely the average will be more constant. With routines, the longer the stretches of successes, the more X's on the calendar, the less the days missed will matter.
If you are willing to commit to showing up consistently, every day, no matter what, then you have already won more than half the battle. The rest is up to skill, knowledge, drive, and execution. routines9 p.223
3: Have a (authentic) Positive Outlook
Research supports: people who consistently practice seeing opportunities instead of problems, who focus on the best in a situation rather than the worst, who notice other peoples better qualities and look past their weaker ones, who see the glass as at least half full in every circumstance, are happier, more creative, earn more money, have more friends, have better immune response, have less heart disease and strokes, have better and longer lasting marriages, live longer, and are more successful in their careers. routines9 p.223
Can you see the glass as overflowing? Will move you to consistently look for the hidden opportunities, lots of businesses are founded on hidden opportunities.
Nine factors of the habits of the people who live the healthiest & longest lives...
routines9 p.224
The determining factors mostly have to do with attitude, habits of behavior, and who they associate with.
Cultivating positive outlook does not mean you are always happy. Does not mean life never gets you down. Does not mean you walk around with idiotic grin, living in denial, ignoring the realities of pain and struggle. People who cultivate genuine positive outlook go through tough times too. Everyone has funk days. routines9 p.224
Addressing funk days: First thing; take an inventory of your blessings. Habit of gratitude. It doesn't always work right away, but it's where you should start. Worth admitting when the worse shows its face: It's hard to appreciate love if you haven't felt hurt or loneliness. Hard to know what's good and how good it feels, without knowing bad. Cant feel happy and content without feeling the fun. Life is ebb and flow. routines9 p.225
Farmers know they have to wait a full season to reap their harvests. In our world our life is dominated by ease of accessibility; it's easier than ever to forget that some things take time.
Plant, cultivate, harvest; Cultivation is key, and often takes a long period of focused time.
10k Hour rule is a foundational piece that explains the average time for excellence, with deliberate practice. You shouldn't expect results over night to complex issues.
We often desire shiny objects, then once it's in our hands our attention is caught by something else, and the shiny object we sought so earnestly moments ago now falls from our focus.
Sometimes desires get deep down on the inside and start to burn, they can burn for years. That's the kind of desire that gets you up early and keeps yup late. Keeps you motivated to press forward, can move mountains and alter the course of rivers.
Burning desire is a powerful force, and works in two directions depending on what you see. Most people wish for big things but can't really see themselves getting them.
Those who achieve great things not only passionately wanted to achieve them but also clearly see themselves achieving them.
[desire] the earnest need for something [faith] vividly seeing & believing the unseen. Knowing, not hoping, not wishing, but knowing that you're going to get there.
The Power of Momentum, completion, reflection, and celebration.
The Art & Practice of the Learning Organization - The Fith Discipline - Peter Senge
Virtually all natural systems, from ecosystems to animals to organizations have intrinsically optimal rate son growth. The optimal rate is far less than the fastest possible growth. When growth becomes excessive; as it does with cancer; the system itself will seek to compensate by slowing down; perhaps putting the organization's survival at risk in the process.
"Growing too fast for your own good" - you must find your own "intrinsically optimal rate of growth." Take the approach of consistent, never ending improvement, which lays solid foundations and build up them over and over.
sidenote - track the simple improvements you make every day to the "systems" and "organizations" in your life. Ex. if you're improving a funnel, track the changes you create / add / modify / optimize every day; based on feedback from your own internal system. What are you doing better in that process? Track it. keypoint
There's nothing inherently good about slowness, it's just as possible to move TOO slowly than to move too quickly. The key word in "slow and steady" is not slow, but steady. routines9 p.206
Steady wins the race. Steady is what taps into the power of consistency.
Doing something routinely only "once a week" or similar is tough, because you have to start all over again every time. You have to gear yourself up to get inspired to get back in action. It takes far less energy to keep yourself doing something once you've started, consistently, within shorter time frames. routines9 p. 206
sidenote this is why choosing the correct routines is so important, you want to make sure you are prioritizing because they are beneficial, not because you think you should.
Example: Taking 20 minute brisk walk in the morning, then work out in gym 20 minutes in the afternoon. Vs. 140 minute walk in the morning one day a week, and 140 minutes in the gym only once per week.
Even if you're moving slow it's much easier to change direction. You just have to be in motion.
The Power of Completion
Another way to gather momentum and harness it's advantages is by regularly practicing the activity of completion.
Are there things that are incomplete in your life: unpaid bills; unfinished projects, borrow something from someone yet to return, someone who needs to hear "i love you," "I'm sorry" or "Than you I appreciate you". Unkept Promises, any agreements or commitments you've left hanging?" routines9 p.272
keyphrase Lay them to rest so you can have peace.
Each and every incomplete thing in your life or work exerts a draining force on you, sucking the energy of accomplishment and success out of you. Every incomplete promise, commitment, or agreement saps your strength because it blocks your momentum and chocked off your ability to move forward, progress, or improve. Incomplete things keep calling you back to the past to take care of them. routines9 p.208
Incomplete things are powerfully destructive, it keeps the past alive. A surefire way to be forced to live as a prisoner of your past is not to complete things you've started.
The stack of incompletions can loom large, and seem overwhelming. Especially when you realize that whatever might have been keeping you from completing them in the first place; fear of confronting the issue, feeling intimidated or overwhelmed, working it might be difficult or uncomfortable. Those thoughts / considerations are working against you - daily, sometimes moment by moment. routines9 p.208
This is why the pile of "incompletions" got so big to begin with, by not confronting them. Truth is, even those incompletions that seem difficult to do would have been a lot easier to do when they first came up.
Approaching the stack of "incompletions" at hand is not only the best way way to deal with them, it's the only way you'll ever deal with them. Take them on just as you took on learning to walk. Baby steps, one at a time, letting the force of the momentum work for you to help you complete whatever needs completion.
sidenote keep a list of open loops? work consistently to close them?
Find something you CAN do and do that. Make a phone call, apologize, clear the basement, write a letter, give fitted minutes to pelting something every day.
sidenote - it seems that to stick to a routine you really need a clear head. You need to separate the past and future from the task at hand, to get down to the business of execution. But we're often distracted by open loops, things from our past that we've set in motion with the intention of ending, or that need to end, yet we kept them open. Those open loops constantly interrupt our present. Keep us out of the moment. Our mind craves closure, and the more often we avoid it due to it being difficult to find, the more hurdles we are placing in our way to reaching our goals. We will use those open loops as excuses, we will look to them as reasons for our lack of success. We will let them control us, especially if we've lived our life avoiding them at all cost. These "anti-routines", negatively charge our day. They dig at our concentration constantly. In the discussion of routines the open loops take large chunks of the energy we need to execute at the top of our game. They suck motivation. They eat away at our resolve. It's best to confront them, no matter how big or how small. Our goal should be to close as many as we can as effectively as we can. It will seem overwhelming, we all have LOTS of them. Guilt is an open loop, love is often an open loop, things we said and didn't say. All open loops. Either we need to dig it up, kill it, and put it to its grave; give it a proper resting place. Or we need to accept that we're not going to be able to kill it, and forgive and forget. God is a brilliant being when he recommends we forgive and forget, holding onto things is a recipe for disaster.
The Power of Reflection
Mistake: thinking you're being productive because you're busy. Being productive and being busy are not necessarily the same thing. Doing things won't create your success; doing the right things will. If you're doing the wrong things, doing more of them won't increase your odds of success, it will only make you fail more drastically. routines9 p.210
Everyone is busy, we all have actions to complete, but are they the right actions. Did they actually take us a step forward? These questions most people never take the time to think about.
Who's dream did you build today, yours or someone else's? Take a searching and fearless personal inventory. routines9 p.211 - Keep your progress, or lack of it, right in your face.
Instead of writing down what you're going to do, write down at the end of the day what you did do that day. (track KPI) What actions did you take today that made you more successful? At the end of the week, look back over your log and take inventory. This will give you a good measure of what you've actually done that week. And will also serve as a great tool to help you reflect and start changing what you actually do. routines9 p.211
Keeping a journal. Don't just record what you did that day and thoughts and feelings about what happened. Ask yourself "in each area of my life, what are the critical, simple little things that area easy to do, and easy not to duo? Did I do them? Did I move forward?"
Alternate: Make a list of actions to consult and check off each day. On days you don't make time to write in your journal, go through the list and ask the above questions.
Suggestion: Do this with a accountability partner, someone who wants to harness the power of reflection, and schedule time together to debrief each other. routines9 p.212
Suggestion: Chose to achieve higher level of productivity through reflection by working with a coach. A coach holds up a mirror and shows you what you're doing, day in and day out. A Coach keeps your "dailies" in your face. Helps you harness the power of reflection, asking smart questions. p.212 routines9
The Power of Celebration
Reflection and acknowledgement (celebration) is incredibly powerful.
Keep your daily positive activities, your right choices and incremental successes right out in the open where you can see them and celebrate them. p.213 routines9
All the activity required for daily improvement is a series of baby steps. Trust the process. Acknowledge the steps, even if the steps seem insignificant.
Make each successful right choice a celebration. You'll be able to feel the balance of positive / negative shift in your favor. It's incredibly easy to do, and incredibly easy not to do. Chose to celebrate.
sidenote Routines seem TOO easy. We look at them and say "duh I can do that, that's easy!" But never forget that it's just as easy NOT to do them, as it is to do them. So even though it's small, you must celebrate the victory. Something as simple as brushing your teeth, celebrate the consistency in which you execute. These simple things add up, understand that the routine builds momentum and you only experience the increasing benefits with the building momentum. You won't feel it in the moment, that's why you need to celebrate. If you don't celebrate the small victories, you won't appreciate them. Warning, don't use these celebrations as a "moral license" to do negative things, "I brushed my teeth so I deserve a coke", it's counter productive to your end goal. Celebrate your step towards the end goal, understanding the step was a critical step in the process of the journey.
The Power of Mentorship Modeling
Circular power: "study" -> "do" -> "model" -> repeat
You must chose your Heroes. The quickest and surest path to raising the quality of your life is to start hanging out with people who have been there and done that. routines9 p.194
Too often we make heroes out of people who can't really help us, who's lives are fantasies, not genuine role models. List your role models and ask "Can I become like them? Are these people doing the kinds of things that I aspire to do and living the kind of lives that I aspire to live? Can they really help me become who I want to become?" p.194 routines9
The Law of Association
Principle: Your income tends to equal the average of the incomes of your five best friends. Same principle applies to other types of currencies in your life. Health, happiness, etc. routines9 p.195
You're known by the company you keep.
Show me where you fish and ill show you what you catch.
Birds of a feather flock together.
What do those around you consistently talk about? What are their philosophies? What do their actions show their beliefs are? Do they blame others consistently?
If you are consistently associating with negative people, it's highly unlikely you'll not reflect the same exact characteristics. routines9 p.196
Become acutely aware of who you are modeling. This has everything to do with your philosophy and your attitudes. Birds of a feather flock together because they're heading in the same direction. What destination are those around you heading for? Is it where you want to go? routines9 p.196
This is a pass or fail test. No maybe about it. You are always in fix, everything curves, we're all going in one or two directions. Up or down. Your associations are either empowering you, or it's not.
Where do your conversations tend to lead? The past or the future, negative or positive, what are the common themes?
We are all either building our own dreams or building our nightmares.
Sometimes you need to run in the other direction. routines9 p.198
Are you a giver or a taker, "brighten a room" or "dim the room"? Positive outlook, or negative; on average.
There may be some people with whom you're now spending two days a week with where you might decide you need to take that down to two hours. Some you may realize you're only spending two minutes, where you'll realize you need to spend far more time with them. Sometimes you just need to disassociate with them.
Disassociating doesn't necessarily mean cutting them out of your life entirely, move from close to casual instead; lower the impact they have on your daily life. You're not judging these people, your simply asking yourself to be honest about whether or not these relationships are empowering you and helping you to support your purpose and realize your dream. p.199 routines9
Form a Mastermind
Collect people heading in the same direction of yourself and create a group of like minded individuals. "Coordination of knowledge and effort of two or more people, who work toward a definite purpose, in the spirit of harmony" - Napoleon Hill on masterminds. Keep the discussion forward looking, positive.
Become the Mentor Yourself
Leadership is not something you do; it is something that grows organically out of the natural rhythm of learning.
As you continue climbing that the later of doing, experiencing the benefits of reaching your goals, keep an eye on what the mentors.. those around you.. are doing, always using learning through modeling to keep you on track.
Study, Do, Model - are you worth learning from?